As we start our third round, I think it’s fair that we establish some ground rules this time around.
- I don’t mind the morning sickness so much, considering the fact that I didn’t gain any weight the last two times. Let’s agree that if I’m going to puke every day for the next nine months, that not only will I NOT gain any weight, but that I will lose some.
- I understand you like to hit me with the sudden urge to pee just as I get comfortable in bed. I’ll accept that. But maybe you can forgo the hemorrhoids – those I can definitely do without.
- Each time you like to throw me a curveball and give me some strange ailment like Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and Restless Leg Syndrome. Maybe this time you can be nice and give me Beautiful Skin Syndrome or Eat All the Ranch Dip You Want Syndrome.
- I’ll try to lay off the chili cheese fries and you be nice with the Acid Reflux.
- I’m all about the scheduled c-section. Try not to let my water break and put me into labor before the scheduled date. I’ve gone 2 pregnancies without one iota of labor, I’m ready to make it 3 for 3.
- I know last pregnancy we had a lot going on. I’m trying to avoid the stress this year for both of us. I’ll do what I can to ensure we don’t have any cancer scares or have to move again.
I think that sounds fair. Don’t you? And I think this is the last time we’ll have to go through all of this, so let’s make it a pleasant affair.